i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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