too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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