This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize