And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize