I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Is her dick bigger than yours?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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