Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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