I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
