i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
