Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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