I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Houston, we have a blender
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Randomize
