I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
