He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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