Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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