ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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