i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
50% drunk capacity currently
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
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