how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
