It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
