I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
