Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
