Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize