worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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