That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
