My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Randomize
