"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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