It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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