i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
