Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Randomize
