Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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