I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
