Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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