I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
