Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
