i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
