the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize