I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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