No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
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