doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize
