$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
