i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Randomize
