I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
