just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
