shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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