Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
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