so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
