Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
she pinky promised me she was 18
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
