There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
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