He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
