the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
