No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Ketchup is God's man juice
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
