I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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