Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
