dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
