I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
