well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
You've changed since you got that strap on
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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