Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
