The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
