Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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