doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Randomize
