Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Randomize
