Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
