Got a toothbrush?
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize