i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Fuck me I smell like cheese
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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