my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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