Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Pappa wants mamma naked
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
