Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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